Happiness

A word that confuses, befuddles, and usually scares the hell out of me...
a rather optimistic friend of mine calls it the following

happiness is a vague feeling-- a fleeting emotion whose existence is cherished in afterthought. some live in a birdcage/in a fantasy world/ in brutal memories and some in unassumed realities. there may be no intervention, maybe no hope, but the act gives courage to live another day that died in another continent hours ago.

ps. nothing in this existence has any name or meaning until u give it one.

i would rather call it a trade off , fantasy versus reality ...

most would be content to use it as an escape for today , to fall back on a memory that is as scarce as the feeling itself, dont get me wrong i have nothing against being happy or joyful or full of life.

i don't wish to be sad , i too wish to be happy.. i too want to feel the warm embrace of hope to derive comfort in that very spiritual of feelings that is the prelude to a peaceful state of

Its just a state of mind as far as i can see, in my convoluted imagination the state of happiness is most often the harbinger of despondency for it propagates impossible hope

something that drives a kid to survive a week in a pit or the underdogs to win the series and all that .

what i ask is this, everybody is inspired by visions of others hope transpiring into reality , but how many of these translate those visions into their own lives.

i might hope for a better job, a better life , to find and keep true love , but does hope and this afterthought of happiness really drive me to achieve it ? no it doesn't .. . but something else does

fear

a very understated feeling, i would say

it drives everything and everybody that i can possibly imagine

an awful pessimist you might call me , but deep down you know the reality


why work ? fear of losing that security a job offers you

why love ? fear being alone ?

why hope ? fear of being lost